Tag Archives: internal emotions

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Recently, I supported my dearest friend of 20 years as she was dying of breast cancer.  I watched as she dwindled away to nothing, skeletal at best, and finally took her last breath.  She is not the first person I have lost, but it certainly hit me in a very different way.  My coping with and processing of her death has been interesting and, five days later, turned philosophical. Over the years I have read many different interpretations of reality. So many different concepts to choose from: Christianity, Buddhism, Sufi, Judaism, Muslim, Existentialism, Atheism – so many “isms” and ways of thinking about the same thing. Her death inspired me to think about life and death, as well as love and hate, in a different  Read the full article…

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Early in our lives, we responded to conflict and anxiety with the instinctive “flight or fight” response. As we grew up, we found a third path. We learned to handle internal or external conflict constructively, to hold off instinctive reactions, and to find more positive ways to solve problems. We found it beneficial to withdraw from heated situations long enough to cool down or change, to think about things and reflect on our own feelings, and to return ready to work through the tension. When we discovered that others had as much difficulty dealing with tension as we did, we became more sensitive to their inability to cope under certain circumstances. We pulled back to give them room to regain their equilibrium. We learned the  Read the full article…

The Power of Words

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When teaching and coaching people on leadership and influence skills, we normally tell them that words have the lowest impact in face-to-face communication when influencing another person. Body language has the highest impact, and tone of voice is the next level of impact. Sayings like: “It’s not what you say it’s how you say it,”  have common sense meaning to most people. It’s nice when research backs up common sense. That’s not to say that the words don’t matter. Of course, they matter! It’s a complete message when I say something and it means the same thing to all people in a group.  It’s congruence when my words, music (tone) and dance (body language) all have the same meaning. A friend of mine has cancer.   Read the full article…